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SkullCracker

At what age do you think you should move out

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SkullCracker

I moved out when I was young and worked. Learned all about life and said enough of sucking off my parents. I say 20 is when you should leave the nest. If you are living at home past that age something is seriously wrong. Only way I'll say it's ok is if you are attending college and working while paying bills around the house.

 

Sad thing is so many still feed off their parents and it's sad. If this offends you it explains a lot and assume you still live under mom and dads roof.

 

Just something I'm just curious about. Was in a discussion with a family member who's a Psychologist and found what they said interesting. So I figured I'd ask here and see what answers I get. But please don't be offended, I know feelings matter and I don't wanna hurt them :)

Edited by SkullCracker

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SkullCracker
ProphetBeal

While I do agree kids should move out in their late teens or early 20s depending on college...I also understand how difficult/expensive it is to live on our own in certain places.  Where I live (NYC) apartments are so expensive it's almost cheaper to buy a house, but when you are younger you usually don't have the credit to buy a house so it can be difficult. That being said I left home when I was 21 (I'm 35 now) and managed to thrive. A friend of mine, who is 29, just finally moved out of his parent house and got his first apartment. 

As a parent I'd like to say I wouldn't let my kids stay that long...but who knows. 

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Rin

It's really situational, If you are unemployed what can you do. And sometimes even if you have a job its so expensive to live on your own you don't know if you will make it.

Edited by Rin

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SkullCracker

I hear both of you and understand everyone's situation plays a role in staying home or moving out. Now I only asked because of what was discussed and this isn't meant to shit on anyone.

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l-RUSE-|

Something nobody has touched on is that a lot of people support their parents and even grandparents living in the house, I know countless people who live with their parents so they work and help with the bills. I think calling people out for living with their parents is dumb, if they're working then who the fuck cares where they put their head at night. As of 2010 or somewhere around that time the rules for how the census accounted where the population resided, making it so anybody in group quarters  (both institutional like correctional facilities, nursing homes, and non-institutional group quarters such as college dorms, military barracks, group homes etc) are counted as living at their usual residence. 

Since the 70s which the article you cited is going off of, there as been a large swing from turn 18, work a job, get a wife, buy a home,  to now after high school going to college, developing a career, and then settling down. Combining that with the knowledge that cost of living has risen considerably since the 70s, and Americans are waiting longer to marry now, wouldn't it be self explanatory that more people live with their parents?

Another thing to mention, The article said there was 22.9m living with their parents which includes most of the people living in correctional facilities, dorms and such and 19.9m living with a spouse. Thats a 3 million difference, in 2000 there was 2 million  18-34 year olds living in dorms, accounting for more people going to college now and other applicable group quarter living situations everything scales nicely. 

I think the main takeaway from what I said is that times have changed and its not sad that more people are "living with their parents" even though thats not even the tip of the iceburg. Everything changes with time, and theres nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to your living situation. To answer the main post, I think you should move out when it makes sense for you and your family.

 

https://www.census.gov/topics/income-poverty/poverty/guidance/group-quarters.html

https://www.census.gov/population/www/cen2000/briefs/phc-t26/

"The U.S. Census Bureau Survey shows that since 1970, the median age  for women to get married increased by 4.3 tears to 25.1 years; for men the increase was 3.6 years to 26.8 years"

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=130884&page=1

 

 

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SkullCracker
1 hour ago, SkullCracker said:

I hear both of you and understand everyone's situation plays a role in staying home or moving out. Now I only asked because of what was discussed and this isn't meant to shit on anyone.

l-RUSE-|

 

Read what I said before getting hostile. Obviously this is discussed by many who are in government, the Psych field and so on. I posted because I was in a discussion with a family member who works in the Psych field. So fucking many care because it's being discussed :) If it was directed at anyone here in a disrespecting way I could understand but it's not.....relax :)

 

And I'll always find it sad when a 28 year old is living at home. I have friends who moved out at the same age as me and went onto college and worked. But times change like you said and I believe the young today are just soft. Proof is in all that's going on around us in this country.

 

 

Edited by SkullCracker

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l-RUSE-|
38 minutes ago, SkullCracker said:

l-RUSE-|

 

Read what I said before getting hostile. Obviously this is discussed by many who are in government, the Psych field and so on. I posted because I was in a discussion with a family member who works in the Psych field. So fucking many care because it's being discussed :) If it was directed at anyone here in a disrespecting way I could understand but it's not.....relax :)

 

And I'll always find it sad when a 28 year old is living at home. I have friends who moved out at the same age as me and went onto college and worked. But times change like you said and I believe the young today are just soft. Proof is in all that's going on around us in this country.

 

 

nobody got hostile

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SkullCracker
3 minutes ago, l-RUSE-| said:

nobody got hostile

Ok, see when you use the word fuck in a discussion it can be seen as hostile and that the other person is angry.

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Borscht

I'm 27, and still live with my dad. Is it convenient for both of us? Not really, we're slowly bleeding each other every day. 

Can I move out? Possibly. 

However, I am a student, and currently would prefer depositing as much as I can into my student loans instead of paying rent. I do own a vehicle though, and that eats the larger chunk of my paycheck (hello Ontario insurance). I pretty much either have a car and enjoy the mobility it allows, or tighten my belt and move into one of the basement rooms near the University for 500$ a month min. 

My plan is to move out the moment I get a job in my field (computer dev). But I know some people who are staying with their parents even though they almost and bought their own property. They just plan to rent it until they get married and enjoy the money saving benefits that come out of with parents. 

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SkullCracker

College is one thing and I'm fine with that. If parents are sick and they need 24-7 care, I'm fine with that. But not growing up and doing something with yourself and living at home is sad. And in America we have a lot who do nothing and live at home because they are lazy and mom still makes them breakfast, lunch and dinner and washes their underwear......SMH. I find that sad and always will and is also a sign of bad parenting.

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Plagueis
1 hour ago, Borscht said:

I'm 27, and still live with my dad. Is it convenient for both of us? Not really, we're slowly bleeding each other every day. 

LOL, slowly bleeding each other every day.

 

As a parent myself I don't mind my kids living with me into adulthood as long as they are in college and working toward their career.  My oldest lived at campus her first year which cost a ridiculous $57,000

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Hor

I didn't become successful at adulting until I moved in with  my now wife. (I was 34) It was the responsibility of providing for my wife and I that has kept me in jobs I would have otherwise quit. I have also tried harder at bettering our lives. As a single man I could live in a van down by the river as long as I had internet. I think it's stuff like that that has changed since our parents/grand parents days. My parents and grand parents were married and had kids at 18. Myself and most of my friends waited well into our late 20's/early 30's to do that.

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Larold

Okay so I'm a terrible example but I moved out when I was 16. I was a really bad teenager.

I moved into a trashy studio apartment that didn't look into who was renting (it was mainly undocumented immigrants that lived there) and was selling illegal substances with my friend Colton.

I was with a girl who didn't like the illegal substances I did/sold so I moved in with her and her mom, got clean(ish), and started working at McDonalds. Then when I was 18 I went to trade school, left that girl, got with my ex-wife and actually had to care for others at 20 years old.

The point is, I was forced into adulthood eventually because my Mom wasn't willing to care for a druggie, which is contrast to many that turn a blind eye to what their dumbass kids do and enable them to be lazy fucks.

Contrary to my story, my little brother stayed in school, did well, is 19 and is now an assistant manager at a tire shop and has recently moved out of Mom's house. It really isn't that hard to become self sufficient if you work for it, but yes there are a lot of lazy people that aren't willing to work like there well being depends on it.

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Com}{rade

Every situation is different. And it's a bit rich when I hear the older generations which have fucked over my generation talk about leaving at 18 as if we're 25 years in the past and could actually pay for things with CHANGE.

I'm sure in 1992 I would of left at 18 and gone straight to a 4 year and it would of been fine and dandy. But, this country has shifted very heavily in the last 20 years. Student debt is out of control, college costs going up, stagnation in the market, housing market crashing, inflationism, debt and on it goes. Come live in California and tell me unless you're rolling in cash at 18-25 how easy it is to move out and pay these insane costs and taxes. Sure, I bet you can find some shithole in Santa Ana and room with 4 others, but I'm not.

But I am where I am, I've moved my entire life never having anything stable and now literally using savings to help out current issues my family is going through. 

I feel sad for people wasting time and money at useless colleges getting useless degree's and ending up at a grocery store, restaurant or Starbucks never being able to really progress as their costs and debt hamper them down. All because of the failed and false notions of going to college! Federally guaranteed loans! Instead, the government and states should of been promoting trade and apprenticeships for real, in demand jobs. They should of encouraged it, should of simplified the tax code and burdens, provide credits and get rid of the red tape that constrains the ability to have adequate alternatives to public education.

But instead, all that occurred was general living costs wen't up, trillion + in student loans, inflation continues and all the 18 year old's should be able to fly away! To make matters even worse, there's now a generation of snowflake, SJW leftists flocking to campuses for shit degree's in gender studies and other useless things who are going to wake up one day in their 40's and realize they're absolutely useless and provide nothing to society.

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SkullCracker
On 10/11/2017 at 7:04 PM, Com}{rade said:

To make matters even worse, there's now a generation of snowflake, SJW leftists flocking to campuses for shit degree's in gender studies and other useless things who are going to wake up one day in their 40's and realize they're absolutely useless and provide nothing to society.

 

What you said right there is in my opinion the biggest problem. Can't find jobs because there is none available in the fields they went to school for. And what will happen is they'll be living at home with mom and dad because all they could get was a job in the fast food industry. Now I also understand every persons situation is different. I know your situation and there is nothing wrong doing the things you are doing. My issue is with those who have no goals in life and are still living under mom and dads roof. Mom still washes their clothes, feeds them and treats them like they are still little kids when their not. I don't see a bright future for this country because of all that's going on. Though we finally got a good President I think he's a little late to the party. And because the way so many have been raised I see them repeating the same shit which means this country is truly screwed.

 

Fending for yourself at a young age teaches you a lot. It builds character and prepares you for anything that's thrown at you. A man who struggles when he's young can handle anything in the future.

Edited by SkullCracker
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Wolfesscythe
On 10/12/2017 at 7:03 PM, SkullCracker said:

My issue is with those who have no goals in life and are still living under mom and dads roof. Mom still washes their clothes, feeds them and treats them like they are still little kids when their not. I don't see a bright future for this country because of all that's going on.

This should be the topic. I'm 28, and unfortunately, still live with my parents, but financially, it makes sense. I have a degree in Electronics Engineering that I am struggling to find work with, as 95% of the places I apply require 4+ years of experience, and won't so much as look at an application with less than that, and it's a fucked up system. I am working part time, starting full time in December, but even working at my current job as a full time employee, with the slight pay raise I'll get, I will not be able to afford $500+ renting somewhere, on top of all the other bills I already pay. Also, not to mention that since my father lost his job back in 2014, his age makes it difficult for him to find anything more than minimum wage somewhere. So, even though he makes decent doing what he does, being a farm hand to a couple different people, his work isn't steady, and in the event that I left, my parents would no doubt struggle greatly with keeping what they have.

It's not as easy as it was in the 80's and 90's, Skull. My dad is a testament to that. I struggled finding the job I have now, and my father was on my ass everyday about being useless and not working, and now that he's unemployed, he finally understands that it's just not easy to progress in today's society. Back in the 80's and 90's it was very possible to live on your own, off a low salary. Not to mention, at least in my area, we had a fuck load of cotton and textile mills that paid very well, all of which have closed down in the early-mid 90's. 80% of the employment in my area now, is fast food and markets (I.E. Walmart). 

Until this country changes it's direction, and we start focusing on trades (If you haven't watched Mike Rowe, or listened to any of his speeches, you should.) things will not improve, and the average age of children living with their parents will only increase. I know some I went to school with who are in their early 30's, still living with their parents. And they work what I would consider good jobs, making $14+ an hour, and still difficult to afford to move out.

As you can see, it's not all black and white. And I hate those useless fucks who don't work and live off of their parents as much as you do.

On 10/11/2017 at 8:04 PM, Com}{rade said:

Every situation is different. And it's a bit rich when I hear the older generations which have fucked over my generation talk about leaving at 18 as if we're 25 years in the past and could actually pay for things with CHANGE.

Hopefully our children or grandchildren will be afforded better opportunities than we have, though I don't see that happening. Automation is killing our work force, and when we get to the point that everything's automated, and there's no need for laborers, how is anyone expected to make a living?

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SkullCracker

I hear everyone and wish the best for everyone. But if you couldn't afford something you found two jobs. That means ya can live on your own and live your life as intended. Almost every animal on this planet kicks their kids away when they hit a certain age. They teach them all they should know and say now you must leave and grow on your own. I had friends who worked two jobs, were in college and had their own places. In fact one of them is this girl I know. She came from a family that always preached how hard work pays off. Her brother is a State Senator and her sister-in-law is the Lieutenant Governor in my state. Now I understand everyone is different and sometimes things don't work out like one would expect they should. But I'm still for making things work for yourself and leaving the nest at a young age. Everyone I know who's done it has had a successful life. My wife's family is the same way and believes in taking care of your own business. Now if any of the kids needed help they'd get it. But they had better of made sure they are doing something with their lives. If not there will be hell to pay.

 

Commie

" And it's a bit rich when I hear the older generations which have fucked over my generation talk about leaving at 18 as if we're 25 years in the past and could actually pay for things with CHANGE."

 

And Commie is wrong. I guess every generation could use that as an excuse but it's not true. I can't blame my parents for how the world is run today. And if many believe the older generation did so wrong what are they doing now so it can be fixed. I can't see anything being fixed and see more problems like transgender bull shit and protesting over stupid shit that makes no sense. Seeing Confederate statues being torn down. Yep that sure is fixing the problems mine and other generations have created....lmao. Everything changes with time and no one could ever expect things to stay the same. Cost of things have always gone up and it's how the economy works, supply and demand. When I was a kid you could get a hamburger from McDonald's for 25 cents. Now it costs almost a $1. That price comes from supply and demand. More people means more things must be made. That in the end costs the manufacturers more so it gets passed onto us the consumer. That's why I don't ever blame my parents for anything.

 

I also say this and it's true. Sometimes one must move out of state so they can find work. Just because things are bad in one area of the country doesn't mean it's like that on other parts. You can look on the internet for jobs in every state. The wife is doing it now and getting ready for when we move. Plenty of jobs that even pay her more if we'd move there.

 

Every situation is different and I understand that. But from all I've seen over the years nothing looks good. I see a lot of lazy ass under 30 year old men doing nothing or limited amount of work. Get out there and take on those two jobs as Mike Rowe has said many a times. The work is there and it will get you out of mom and dads house. Or if needed it can help them even more. That's if they need help which I understand many parents do. Now when we move we want land. On that land we'll build homes for our parents so they are with us. Again, building homes for them and will take care of them like they did for us when we were young. But we'll have our own house and they'll be far enough away they can lives their lives as well.

 

 

No disrespect towards anyone. I hope you all understand that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by SkullCracker

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Brien

In the U.S I think after high school. Either you are going to school (trade/uni's) or getting a job. My brother still lives at home as 27 year old and technically could live on his own but "things" always seem to happen to prevent it. I myself moved out right after high school for college and since then has taught me a lot: money management, relying on myself to get shit done, how to live with other people, and learning from my mistakes without them being too big as I am only still 23. To use my brother again I do not think he has a lot of skills that I listed previously that are detrimental to progressing through life successfully. However I will add a caveat of people that need to take care of a family member or cannot afford rent/saving/paying for student loans as that makes complete sense. 

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Rumplypigskin

Is this topic just for families in the United States? There are many cultures where kids leave the home at a very young age as well as others that they may live with their families for life. I do agree with some of you, it's situational, you got a United States typical teen going on to collage who can't afford to live on their own and be in college so their parents have a moral duty to help their child out. But after they can stand on their own the parents will have them move.

On the other hand you have a teen in Central or south America who may live with the family with them until they pass away since most families don't have a retirement plan or nursing homes. 

In my own personal opinion, the time to move out of the nest is when is not beneficial for the hosting party.  100 years back typical United States family would consist of many children so they could work on the family farms. Or the child at home provides no benefit to their parents like, simple company, financial help, manual labor/shores, then the child should not be there past the parents government enforced commitment.

 

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Drunkennewbie

I think its based on what you are doing.

If in college, sure i say it doesnt hurt to live with parents till complete. But once you are done fine a job get out.

I got out at 18, I couldnt stand to live in my house anymore and the neighborhood sucked alot.

 

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TactiTaco

I got kicked out at 18 for not going to church every sunday. 6 months later i dropped out of college and joined the army to provide for myself. I couldn't make college work by myself without student loans. I don't like owning people money. 

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Larold
1 hour ago, TactiTaco said:

I got kicked out at 18 for not going to church every sunday.

I'm all for believing if you want too, but I would never force my kid to go to church, that's some cold shit

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Plagueis

My cousin is still leaching off her parents at the age of 45.   She's never had a real job either, she gets an allowance and just does minor things here and there for her parents companies.    Parents and teachers are pussy's these days and do not push kids like they use to when I was young.  No one wants to work for shit, but cry about how bad life is and blah blah blah.  You can't blame the kids these days too much since they didn't have a strong parent or parents to raise them right. 

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