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Tashpeters

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

Hey guys, I just wanted to take a minute to say a few things to all of you. 

Outside of UWS, I really don't have any friends. I really have affections for all of you who are there for me through my multiple dramas. I wish my life were more simple, and continually aim for that, but at the same time have to care for my children and always put them first. Sometimes that is frustrating. Like right now, I have to start on a degree program to keep my employment in the near future. That is to keep my position, the raises I've earned, my benefits, and my seniority status. Yes, I actually have  some seniority after only about 16 months because the hospital I work at has a high turn-around rate; especially the floor I work on in particular due to the high acuity and difficult patient population. I do all this for my children, and my own betterment I suppose. 

About two and half years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which I have mentioned in channel before. This basically means I have extreme difficulty handling/managing my emotions. Most people can probably get upset and rationalize their feelings and deal appropriately. With me, it's more like the emotion consumes me and all I can do is react. Often, my reactions could seem extreme; it's part of the condition. It's what Marilyn Monroe was suspected to suffer from. 

I hope sometime in the future I'll have a more simple life; one where I don't have to go through the dating drama and the family issues will mostly have resolved. But I wanted to thank all of you who put up with my moodiness, venting, attitude, vulgarities, etc. I really don't have anyone else to talk to besides all of you. I meant it when I said you were my therapists! 

Much love to all of my friends, in particular, @FluxChiller who often puts up with the sharpest edge of my nastiest attitudes. Also, I may have to include @OneGun in there, too, although he dishes it as hard as I do!! 

:in-love:

@Thanos@eddyfbabyyy@Lionkiller73@macgregor1964@Trunkz Jr@Inktricate@JellyDonuts@one4u2nb@Grav1ty@PaullyLama@Larold@Azeir@Deadmauf@FluxChiller@Doc_of_Devilz@GunTotingCiv@Gul'Dukatwho we all know is really @Goldencock plus everyone who is newer or I left out!! 

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Rin   
Rin

Hey can't tell you to take it easy so all i can say is enjoy your life we understand :D

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

@Arbiter

Yeah, I couldn't be "easy" if I tried.

God made me like that frustrating puzzle you want to throw at the wall and break. LOL

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SkullCracker   
SkullCracker
Posted (edited)

I have much respect for you. Sharing something like that isn't easy. But it shows none of us are perfect and many of us have issues. Sometimes those issues are taken out on others with no ill will intent in mind, shit just happens. That I know because of my own demons I deal with and have since I was younger.

 

Keep pressing forward and never look back or care what anyone thinks of you except yourself. Only person that matters is the one in you. With out that person your kids wouldn't have a mother and you wouldn't be here. You also wouldn't be able to continue on the path your headed down which is the path to greatness.

 

Just my two cents.

Edited by SkullCracker
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FluxChiller   
FluxChiller

Thank you for being a friend, traveled down the road a back again. Your heart is true, your pal and a confidant.

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XpRsSn   
XpRsSn

I personally haven't met you that much on TeamSpeak. But like Skull said it deserves respect telling the community what is going on. But I think this is a good community that has his demons here and there like SkullCracker also mentioned. Therfore this is a really understanding community and will support you rather than judge. That's what I personally like about the community. 

I do like to think your future will be brighter and simpler. Just don't give up and things will surely turn out for the better. 

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JellyDonuts   
JellyDonuts

Love ya Tash!  

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eddyfbabyyy   
eddyfbabyyy

All love homie <3... (I'm late as f)

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PaullyLama   
PaullyLama

Wooot! We like you just the way you are!

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OneGun   
OneGun
On 7/21/2017 at 7:44 AM, Tashpeters said:

Hey guys, I just wanted to take a minute to say a few things to all of you. 

Outside of UWS, I really don't have any friends. I really have affections for all of you who are there for me through my multiple dramas. I wish my life were more simple, and continually aim for that, but at the same time have to care for my children and always put them first. Sometimes that is frustrating. Like right now, I have to start on a degree program to keep my employment in the near future. That is to keep my position, the raises I've earned, my benefits, and my seniority status. Yes, I actually have  some seniority after only about 16 months because the hospital I work at has a high turn-around rate; especially the floor I work on in particular due to the high acuity and difficult patient population. I do all this for my children, and my own betterment I suppose. 

About two and half years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which I have mentioned in channel before. This basically means I have extreme difficulty handling/managing my emotions. Most people can probably get upset and rationalize their feelings and deal appropriately. With me, it's more like the emotion consumes me and all I can do is react. Often, my reactions could seem extreme; it's part of the condition. It's what Marilyn Monroe was suspected to suffer from. 

I hope sometime in the future I'll have a more simple life; one where I don't have to go through the dating drama and the family issues will mostly have resolved. But I wanted to thank all of you who put up with my moodiness, venting, attitude, vulgarities, etc. I really don't have anyone else to talk to besides all of you. I meant it when I said you were my therapists! 

Much love to all of my friends, in particular, @FluxChiller who often puts up with the sharpest edge of my nastiest attitudes. Also, I may have to include @OneGun in there, too, although he dishes it as hard as I do!! 

:in-love:

@Thanos@eddyfbabyyy@Lionkiller73@macgregor1964@Trunkz Jr@Inktricate@JellyDonuts@one4u2nb@Grav1ty@PaullyLama@Larold@Azeir@Deadmauf@FluxChiller@Doc_of_Devilz@GunTotingCiv@Gul'Dukatwho we all know is really @Goldencock plus everyone who is newer or I left out!! 

I am pretty fukin Awesome!!! If only i had bigger longer lasting wang I'd be invincible haha

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OneGun   
OneGun
On 7/21/2017 at 8:19 AM, Tashpeters said:

@Arbiter

Yeah, I couldn't be "easy" if I tried.

God made me like that frustrating puzzle you want to throw at the wall and break. LOL

You coming on to me? Nevermind thought you said throw hot dog down hall!! 

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PappySnafu   
PappySnafu

All good Tash:D 

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters
On 8/3/2017 at 9:18 PM, OneGun said:

You coming on to me? Nevermind thought you said throw hot dog down hall!! 

My vagina in no way resembles a hallway. Even if it's a "little smoky" being thrown at it. LOL

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

Why is it these Battlefield One players are always making sexual references. Fucking perverts. 

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Deadmauf   
Deadmauf
On 7/21/2017 at 6:44 AM, Tashpeters said:

Hey guys, I just wanted to take a minute to say a few things to all of you. 

Outside of UWS, I really don't have any friends. I really have affections for all of you who are there for me through my multiple dramas. I wish my life were more simple, and continually aim for that, but at the same time have to care for my children and always put them first. Sometimes that is frustrating. Like right now, I have to start on a degree program to keep my employment in the near future. That is to keep my position, the raises I've earned, my benefits, and my seniority status. Yes, I actually have  some seniority after only about 16 months because the hospital I work at has a high turn-around rate; especially the floor I work on in particular due to the high acuity and difficult patient population. I do all this for my children, and my own betterment I suppose. 

About two and half years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which I have mentioned in channel before. This basically means I have extreme difficulty handling/managing my emotions. Most people can probably get upset and rationalize their feelings and deal appropriately. With me, it's more like the emotion consumes me and all I can do is react. Often, my reactions could seem extreme; it's part of the condition. It's what Marilyn Monroe was suspected to suffer from. 

I hope sometime in the future I'll have a more simple life; one where I don't have to go through the dating drama and the family issues will mostly have resolved. But I wanted to thank all of you who put up with my moodiness, venting, attitude, vulgarities, etc. I really don't have anyone else to talk to besides all of you. I meant it when I said you were my therapists! 

Much love to all of my friends, in particular, @FluxChiller who often puts up with the sharpest edge of my nastiest attitudes. Also, I may have to include @OneGun in there, too, although he dishes it as hard as I do!! 

:in-love:

@Thanos@eddyfbabyyy@Lionkiller73@macgregor1964@Trunkz Jr@Inktricate@JellyDonuts@one4u2nb@Grav1ty@PaullyLama@Larold@Azeir@Deadmauf@FluxChiller@Doc_of_Devilz@GunTotingCiv@Gul'Dukatwho we all know is really @Goldencock plus everyone who is newer or I left out!! 

Tash! I had no idea you had BPD. My step-dad has it, and I know exactly how difficult it can make things. I wish you nothing but happiness and comfort in the future.

Since you thanked me, I'll also thank you. You gave me some really solid advice a couple months ago when I thought for sure I was dying. It helped me approach my situation with a level head, and we eventually got things figured out. Sorry, also, for taking so long to reply. We just got our internet back <3

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

Hey @Deadmauf, thanks for the support. I don't quite remember the advice I gave you, but I'm glad it helped. :)

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Trunkz Jr   
Trunkz Jr

@Tashpeters  Heeeeey I was #5 in that list :cryingmeme:

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GunTotingCiv   
GunTotingCiv

Tash!  Very late here.  I know I don't show up around around here much anymore, but my internet is shit, so yea.  I can't really play the game at the moment.  :(  I'd upgrade if I could, but I HAVE the best service and connection available here right now.  Wish they'd just Fibre up and be done with it!

I miss you guys, though!I'm pretty much in the same place I was before.  Just the internet connection has gone downhill.  Doc is still close by, too, but he ended up having to quit the game because of the internet connection, as well as his laptop kind of dieing.  He mostly console games now.  He's got Xbone and PS4 now, just like me!  =D

You know we're good though!  Hell, I have a friend online who has full blown multiple personality disorder, so borderline is nothing that will deter me.   :)

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters
On 9/16/2017 at 10:16 PM, Trunkz Jr said:

@Tashpeters  Heeeeey I was #5 in that list :cryingmeme:

But...you made the list. :)

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Inktricate   
Inktricate

Just happened to read this now. I'm a little late but thanks for sharing your story, Tash. Much love from us all! <3

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

What is so strange is this was only diagnosed a few years ago. I went my entire life thinking I was just like everyone else; that I processed things the same way, and I was "normal". You know what they say...crazy people don't know they are crazy. Well that is true, to an extent. It was only after a friend of mine told me that I sometimes "seemed like different people" that I decided to have an evaluation done. He said he never knew "which Natasha" he would be dealing with. I thought to myself, "what the fuck is he talking about?". After that, when I was taking a class called Developmental Psychology, the instructor said during the class, "if you have a patient who partakes in "cutting" you may seriously want to consider a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder". I remembered being a "cutter" as a teenager, and I thought "OMG, maybe I have that..". This was even after I had taken mental health nursing and we briefly covered Borderline Personality...and it never even occurred to me I could have it. So the combination of those two events prompted me to get a psyche evaluation done. 

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Tashpeters   
Tashpeters

 

 

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